In order to be comfortable in the presence of others you have to be comfortable with yourself. — John Conyers, III
…Will be about you.
I can’t make you understand but I hope that our talk later today will help. You we’re my dream girl and I’m not sure where it all went wrong but it did. I know you don’t like facing fears. We both like to bury things. So if I die in your heart that’s my fate but I’ll always remember you.
I don’t know who you’ve become and I won’t let her taint or make me hate you and poison my memory well. I don’t want to remember bad things or create more bad memories when I don’t have a chance to create new good memories so I’ll leave you.
I’ll remember things like the first time I met you and how I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to hold your hand or kiss your lips.
I’ll remember things like voting in my first presidential election for americas first Black President and voting for my dad the first time happened with you.
I’ll remember the first time I kissed you in front of Spelmans gate and how I didn’t want it to end. I’ll never forget how scared you were to meet my mother.
I’ll never forget the first time I woke up to your face in Brazeal after winter break. I’ll never forget the two of us trying to squeeze into my twin bed in Brazeal. I’ll never forget how I felt when I told JayJohn about you. About how I thought you were the last girl I’d ever be with.
I’ll never forget the promises I made because I still mean them and wish I could keep them.
I’ll never forget your smell, your smile, your laugh or your eyes.
I’ll never forget you or rather the young woman I fell in love with. I know you aren’t her anymore and I have to accept that. But I still remember her, I remember her so vividly and I miss her. I miss her but I have my memories.
I’ll remember our first Valentines day and I apologize for our most recent one.
I’ll remember things like soggy fries that weren’t seasoned well with Strawberry Soda and having to walk and catch the marta for dates. I’ll remember those things. I’ll remember waking up and taking you to PT and being there to pick you up. I’ll never forget that.
I’ll remember the things you told me about your father and your grandfather because I know how much they disappointed you and I’m sorry I did too. I’m sorry I proved your father right and made it look like you made a poor decision. I’ll remember the way your lips felt and try not to compare every other girls kisses to yours.
I’ll remember every nickname and every birthmark, every mole and imperfection that made you perfect when I looked at you.
I’ll remember the fights I thought made us stronger and the tears that brought us closer.
I loved you with all that I had for as long as you allowed me to.
These are the Things I’ll Remember.
It wasn’t fair before but now it is. — John
The evenings are black and the mornings cold and grey. The only way is THROUGH IT. You’re going to need a little patience. A little humility. A little faith. A little courage. And a little gratitude.
How bad are things when you’re trying to remember someone who’s very much alive as they once were?